The candidates

Please note…. the following original political satire by Dreaminghawk is designed to offend everyone. READ NO FURTHER IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

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Usually, I avoid discussing politics and religion but sometimes I just can’t help commenting. The current crop of potential candidates for President of the USA would be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic.

Candidate #1: Vote for me. I am woman… hear me roar. My husband is a philanderer. Does this podium make my a$$ look fat? Wanna see me make cookies?

Candidate #2: Vote for me. I am a black man….. but not TOO black. My ggrandma was a Cherokee princess. Does this podium make my skin look lighter? Wanna see me tapdance?

Candidate #3: Vote for me. The earth has a fever because the 2000 election was stolen from me. I won an Oscar. Does this podium make me look stupid? Wanna see me macarena?

Candidate #4: Vote for me. My wife is dying of cancer…. but I’m still running. I was a 1 term senator but I’m smart enough to be president. Does this podium make my ego look big? Wanna see me cry?

So far it is unclear who will be running on the GOP ticket but their theme will obviously be “I’m not one of them”

I’m also sure there will be even more outrageous candidates entering as the time grows nearer……. remember, there is still 20 months until the election.

The ancestors would be proud………..

not.