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I didn’t know whether to put this in Indian Country Issues of Family Lore…
My family history going back to the origin of the Blackfoot name is in Indiana Smith/Jones. There has been a lot of trauma in that line. My gggfather died in his fifties after being struck by a car, his daughter my ggmother died in her thirties. My gmother was alone looking after two younger siblings at eight. She grew up in an orphanage that scarred her for life. It affected her raising my mother. I feel like I’m trying to heal for many generations sometimes. My partner is mixed heritage. Her family is similar.
In Canada with the residential school system there are many that seem to have felt this kind of pain.
I’m wondering if anyone else here has experienced this in their families and has the courage to talk about it?
MarcSnelling;37002 wrote: I didn’t know whether to put this in Indian Country Issues of Family Lore…
My family history going back to the origin of the Blackfoot name is in Indiana Smith/Jones. There has been a lot of trauma in that line. . . . . I’m wondering if anyone else here has experienced this in their families and has the courage to talk about it?
Yes, lots of multi-generational pain. But I don’t think I’m brave enough to talk about it yet. We have such a culture of “whispers” and “secrets” in our family, much born out of living in the southeast, racial identity, young death, passing as other races, hiding, etc. Maybe I’ll be brave enough one day.
Clearly this is a subject many people would rather not talk about. Some see it as focusing on the negative. My personal opinion is that everything happens for a reason. That with great pain comes great teachings and there is a lesson to be learned from trauma in our families. If those that experience huge losses recover they can teach others how to recover as well.
The stories that my grandmother told about ‘the home’ she was sent to have stuck with me long after her passing. With my newborn and the challenges of fatherhood it is very much in the now for me. I’ve met some people from Inuit communities here who share similar experiences and challenges. It is not well understood by many outside the communities that experienced it.
Read this article from the National Aboriginal Health Organization in Canada http://www.naho.ca/jah/english/jah05_03/V5_I3_Intergenerational_01.pdf that really breaks it down and makes it easier to get a handle on. Thought I would share.
It seems pertinent here in Canada with Bill C-33, the Idle No More movement and the debates around ex-AFN chief Shawn Atleo.
Jog de Log Marc…yes, intergenerational trauma does exist. It’s scientifically proven that the life a grandparent lives can affect how a grandchild lives.
My gggrandfather was half Nisenan Maidu and Hawaiian…he survived the gold rush genocide in Ca, and was brought with his elder sister to NC, were they lived in Cherokee country with their adopted parents…who also “collected ” native children of different tribes. They lived a short, fast, violent life of crime, running alcohol and guns across state lines.
My ggrandfather was the only one of many siblings that lived long enough to have offspring. He was a violent drunk, lived in Atlanta Ga, had many wives that left him soon after marriage. Of the children he had that I’m aware of…there were 3, my grandfather and his 2 sisters, all taken by the government at a young age and raised in an orphanage. My ggrandfather was a mobster, and was eventually executed by them…a word to the wise when researching your genealogy…you do NOT research the mob!
My grandfather and 1 of his sisters are still living. Grandpa is a WWII vet, but he will NOT speak of his family, nor does his embrace is native heritage. He remembers being called a Digger…a derogatory name for California NDNs..based on that derogatory name for black people.
Today there are 11 known descendants of this one Indian/Hawaiian ancestor born around 1840, 4 are under the age of 5, my nieces and nephews….There would be so many more if not for this trauma. So yes , multi-generational trauma is a real thing. Only now has my family started to heal…we have been estranged from my grandfather’s side, but with my research into this lineage, and explaining to my siblings this heritage, they have begun to accept what they have scorned.
My sister-in-law is expecting in August, for the first time, they will name a child after grandpa’s family. And for the first time, both my sister and brother have accepted their native heritage from that side. Finally, after many years of begging, they have chosen to enroll their children as native Hawaiian, just days before the rolls closed. We have more NDN than Hawaiian, but my siblings and I were raised in Hawaii, and identify with that heritage.
yiim biiwase…take care
Billahuk for sharing that Spilleddi
It amazes me sometimes that oral history in my family has survived with all the trauma.
My grandmother’s mother died when she was young (she was in her 30s) her father died soon after. My grandfather’s mother died when he was 8 days old. His father seemed to blame him for it, for the rest of his life. Which was strange because his own father, a champion swimmer, died when he was 8 years old while swimming the Illinois River, supposedly on a bet. Maybe he thought that was his fault somehow?
My grandmother’s grandfather who the Blackfoot name came through was killed when he was struck by a car, he was in his 50s. If it wasn’t for multiple branches of the family sharing the story it would have surely been lost.
All those early deaths as hard as they were, seemed to be eclipsed by what my grandmother experienced in ‘the home’. She was exposed to some really negative and messed up ideas, especially regarding gender and sex. I can see how that trauma came down from her to my mother to me. It changed the way she parented, and in turn how the next generation parented.
When I looked up the home she went to on the Internet there are a lot of people saying the building was ‘haunted’. Given the number of children who experienced trauma there that is not surprising. Indiana closed it a few years ago.
Still my grandmother always taught me to walk straight and proud. Something she held on to despite the poverty and abuse of her youth.
MarcSnelling;37002 wrote: I didn’t know whether to put this in Indian Country Issues of Family Lore…
My family history going back to the origin of the Blackfoot name is in Indiana Smith/Jones. There has been a lot of trauma in that line. My gggfather died in his fifties after being struck by a car, his daughter my ggmother died in her thirties. My gmother was alone looking after two younger siblings at eight. She grew up in an orphanage that scarred her for life. It affected her raising my mother. I feel like I’m trying to heal for many generations sometimes. My partner is mixed heritage. Her family is similar.
In Canada with the residential school system there are many that seem to have felt this kind of pain.
I’m wondering if anyone else here has experienced this in their families and has the courage to talk about it?
Brother Marc! Kenpaski Miwaki!
I have read many of your posts and have enjoyed learning from your experiences… I thought I would share this as you make a very good point in regards to trauma and the possibility of inheriting “pain”…I saw a program this year on the Discovery Channel (cannot recall the name), but it took a deeper look into humans, not just on the cellular level, but down to the molecules & how they behave after going through traumatic events (War, The Trail of Tears, Slavery, Genocide, etc.)…
In an attempt to relocate this information, I found a study done by the University of Zurich & ETH Zurich in “Science Daily”, and they found that micro RNA’s in mice were affected, and transmitted to their offspring for as long as the 3rd generation.
I, like you, would be interested to learn more about Hereditary Trauma, extending beyond our own immediate families (as my own family has had its share of misfortunes), and into the Native American community as a whole. Although their are many variables, we can definitely see how the trauma that Indigenous people have suffered has led to high mortality rates, alcoholism, drug abuse, bi-polar disorder, chronic obesity, domestic violence, and other issues and/or diseases…
I have attached a link to this study below:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/04/140413135953.htm
Billahuk!
–Black Coyote
Kenpaski Miwaki!
It seems like what we know in our hearts and what science can prove eventually meet. It is interesting that they can actually isolate the trauma transmission to something as specific as RNA.
For many years I swore I would never have children because I did not want to continue the cycle. Somewhere along the line I got past that. A number of near-death experiences taught me about myself, changed my viewpoint, and now I have two beautiful daughters.
Recently my mother told me that she had wanted to name me Seneca (a name of several of my ancestors) but didn’t because she wanted me to ‘fit in’. This is after my ancestor Seneca Newton Drybread who died at 27 swimming the river. It was actually the Wabash River not the Illinois – near Lawrenceville Illinois.
That struck me as another way that traumatic events and names are not forgotten. Like the many names lost to war that are taken by future generations.
Billahuk for sharing that Black Coyote!
MarcSnelling;37181 wrote: Kenpaski Miwaki!
It seems like what we know in our hearts and what science can prove eventually meet. It is interesting that they can actually isolate the trauma transmission to something as specific as RNA.
For many years I swore I would never have children because I did not want to continue the cycle. Somewhere along the line I got past that. A number of near-death experiences taught me about myself, changed my viewpoint, and now I have two beautiful daughters.
Recently my mother told me that she had wanted to name me Seneca (a name of several of my ancestors) but didn’t because she wanted me to ‘fit in’. This is after my ancestor Seneca Newton Drybread who died at 27 swimming the river. It was actually the Wabash River not the Illinois – near Lawrenceville Illinois.
That struck me as another way that traumatic events and names are not forgotten. Like the many names lost to war that are taken by future generations.
Billahuk for sharing that Black Coyote!
First of all, thank you for your honesty and willingness to share these things. I’m sitting here with a lump in my throat honored to be invited in to your personal histories. My family history is full of a lot of generational trauma too: (violent crimes committed, homes burned down by racist vigilantes and fleeing in the middle of the night, moving to other states under alias names and passing as white, expatriating to Liberia, then returning to even worse, etc.). Our family is still pretty active with our reunions and we have a fairly strong “elder system” in place. We’ve always had a sort of “gag order” in our family about telling these stories. Even though the elders that lived through this stuff are all gone now, our new elders, i.e. my mom’s generation, gets to make the decisions about what gets shared. I think I may need their permission to share more or to give any specifics. I guess I grew up in a culture of “keep-our-mouths-shut!” I wonder if this is why a lot of this history is so hard to uncover. I’m glad others are beginning to open up. You guys are inspiring to me! (we also had a lot of rules and stuff about the moon, dreams, harvest cycles and hair-cutting.)
Maybe all this sharing can help us all begin to heal! Also, what do “Billahuk” and “Kenpaski Miwaki” mean? What language(s) are they from?
Love you guys!
MarcSnelling;37181 wrote: Kenpaski Miwaki!
It seems like what we know in our hearts and what science can prove eventually meet. It is interesting that they can actually isolate the trauma transmission to something as specific as RNA.
For many years I swore I would never have children because I did not want to continue the cycle. Somewhere along the line I got past that. A number of near-death experiences taught me about myself, changed my viewpoint, and now I have two beautiful daughters.
Recently my mother told me that she had wanted to name me Seneca (a name of several of my ancestors) but didn’t because she wanted me to ‘fit in’. This is after my ancestor Seneca Newton Drybread who died at 27 swimming the river. It was actually the Wabash River not the Illinois – near Lawrenceville Illinois.
That struck me as another way that traumatic events and names are not forgotten. Like the many names lost to war that are taken by future generations.
Billahuk for sharing that Black Coyote!
It’s my pleasure my brother! Keep inspiring us with your knowledge and introspective posts!
Billahuk!
–Black Coyote
Syd;37182 wrote: First of all, thank you for your honesty and willingness to share these things. I’m sitting here with a lump in my throat honored to be invited in to your personal histories. My family history is full of a lot of generational trauma too: (violent crimes committed, homes burned down by racist vigilantes and fleeing in the middle of the night, moving to other states under alias names and passing as white, expatriating to Liberia, then returning to even worse, etc.). Our family is still pretty active with our reunions and we have a fairly strong “elder system” in place. We’ve always had a sort of “gag order” in our family about telling these stories. Even though the elders that lived through this stuff are all gone now, our new elders, i.e. my mom’s generation, gets to make the decisions about what gets shared. I think I may need their permission to share more or to give any specifics. I guess I grew up in a culture of “keep-our-mouths-shut!” I wonder if this is why a lot of this history is so hard to uncover. I’m glad others are beginning to open up. You guys are inspiring to me! (we also had a lot of rules and stuff about the moon, dreams, harvest cycles and hair-cutting.)
Maybe all this sharing can help us all begin to heal! Also, what do “Billahuk” and “Kenpaski Miwaki” mean? What language(s) are they from?
Love you guys!
I feel your pain my brother… People who do not discuss it, and “bottle it up” can do internal damage to themselves… It’s interesting that a light-brother like Marc has had experiences with his family not wanting to name him Seneca because of his color, and dark-brothers like myself have had similar experiences often times by ridicule of other “black folks” because they think you’re trying to be different; or disassociating yourself with your blackness… I read an interesting quote in regards to multi-ethnic peoples and that is, “I am not part this, or part that; I am all of this and all of that.”…Simply be proud of who you are…
It was not until High School that I had a friend who’s Father was Full-blooded Cree, and his mother was 1/2 Black and 1/2 Algonquin… and it was the first time I found someone, outside of my family, who could relate to basic Hollywood epics like “Dances with Wolves”, look at my Moms beautiful squinty sloped-eyes and say “dude your Mom’s Indian”, or stories of old black stoves that you had to actually go outside and grab wood for… Or my Grandmother (maternal) who would go on rants, and sit in a rocking chair using snuff, while combing her straight black hair… The predominantly African-American/Caribbean community (DC) that I grew up in knew my Mom as “part Indian”, and trust me when I say I had to fight (literally) as a kid for the respect of the totality of who I was… As I got older I had no problems… but it has left me “chippy”…
In regards to family secrets, my father’s side (80% African), is very similar in regards to not saying anything… Someone could have cancer and know one knew until they died… Or that my Grandfather’s father was shot to death… One weekend, before my grandmother’s passing, we just sat around and had a conversation with her, and asked her to tell us stories–and we audio recorded it… If we had not, so much family history would have been lost…
On my mother’s side we have dealt with drug abuse, rape (generational), and poverty… I never knew that my Mom’s family was poor… We had love… but I remember my Grandmother, who was still living in Halifax County at the time was so unafraid of anything, that I once saw her feeding a rodent scraps… She said he had a right to live too…
In regards to “Kenpaski Miwaki” & “Billahuk”, Brother Marc can probably give better reference… In short, the Tutelo phrases Kenpaski Miwaki means “I Serve the Sovereign”, and Billahuk means “Thank you”… Check out the Forum entitled Tutelo Immersion to find more references… & check out this site for English-Tutelo translation >>> http://en.glosbe.com/en/tta/
Our wayi (blood) is the same…
–Black Coyote
I think what Black Coyote is saying is very true. Working with my friend Rose on her paper Indian Voices I have often noticed that same thing. That mixed-light skinned and mixed-dark skinned families have remarkably similar experiences despite large parts of society seeing them as very different. Being mixed is more like wearing two hats, not being 51% this and 49% that (even though it may feel like that sometimes 🙂
As far as Tutelo goes I’m no expert I just read what’s out there. Interest in preserving languages seems to be on the rise. More resources are becoming available all the time. To me Billauk/Billahug is like thank you. Kenpaski Miwaki is like a way of saying we are Yesan/Yesah/Yesang! (Tutelo for the Tutelo-Saponi people). Like the sovereign we serve is our Yesan ancestors who sacrificed for us. Jogdelog is like greetings!
What Syd says about it being difficult to share family history and the culture of silence is familiar. There are plenty of cousins in my family who feel the same way. I think that is a normal response to historical events. Still I have learned so much from others I feel it is my duty to share my stories. We are all imperfect and need all the wisdom we can get. And is it not truly wisdom until it is shared with friends?
Fitting in is tougher on the inside than the outside. On the outside I fit in other than people always asking me in High School how I broke my nose. I’ve been punched in the face enough, but it’s never broken 😉
On the inside I felt it when there was hatred for “Indians” or “Whites”. Like what Maya Angelou said about forgetting what people say but not how it made you feel. Seeing events like the Oka Crisis made me more conscious of my heritage because I could feel the intense hatred from some people very close to me directed at “Indians”. It hurt to hear it whether or not they knew my heritage.
We are all in the same boat, like it or not. We can’t put down one group without putting them all down.
Another reason it is important to tell truths is as medicine. Truth can start a reconciliation process. Truth can inspire and guide. For me learning about my heritage and sharing is the strongest medicine I know against depression.
Connecting the dots almost lost by our ancestors has not been easy. Getting to know what I know today has required a big time investment and sacrificing on other focuses like making money, as it has for many others. It is worth it for me if my children know who their people are.
It seems much rarer to be rich in spirit than rich in dollars. What dollar value could you place on knowing your brother?
from ICTMN article on multi-generational trauma…
“Folks in Indian country wonder what took science so long to catch up with traditional Native knowledge. “Native healers, medicine people and elders have always known”
Read more at http://indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com/2015/05/28/trauma-may-be-woven-dna-native-americans-160508
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