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hi its me chris im having alittle trouble at home i have post tramatic stress disorder i moved to ny last year from nc because my parents sold the house my grandfather gave me so we lived with my wifes parents before we left my grandfather pasted away n i have 2 daugters living in nc still i never get to see them sents the move im on disabilty for my ptsd and her family doesnt care too mor that for there daughter there have been verbal attacks on me about my ptsd and me wanting to move back to be with my 2daughters ive have been attacked by her brother and cut down by the rest of her family n with my disorder i cant forget what they have done to me and what they have said i want to be a whole family agian my wife has her 2 children why cant i have my 2 her family now lives all around us next door her brother lives her parents live on the other side as well her brother comes over unannounced dosent knock tracks mudd in raids our frig gets what ever he wants to eat or drink without asking pesters me an her 2 children as well as the rest of her family its killing me to stay any longer what should i do help me someone i think my wife wants to stay up here n i dont thanks to anyone who writes back ty chris
Just do what you feel is right for you. PTSD is rough thing to get through and you need people who love you to help and to understand but you can’t let it take over your life like I have seen so many do. Only thing that comes from that is anger and lots of it….do what is RIGHT for you.
Linda
Chris said —
. . . her brother comes over unannounced dosent knock tracks mudd in raids our frig gets what ever he wants to eat or drink without asking . . .
reply —
Sound’s like 3 of my 4 ex-step-son’s (they ate more food than I did by far, and they were in their 20’s, and I bought the food, not their mother) — but that’s what “extended family” is about, ain’t it? for better or for worse? Everybody’s got relatives like that, don’t they? I have a pecan tree in the back yard and 4 dogs that come in and out all day long as I leave my back door open @ 250 days a year — unless it is very cold or very hot. If anyone is farmiliar with pecan trees, “stuff” is always dropping or falling off of them and the dogs track it in constantly. That’s one reason my wife left. I thank God the dogs didn’t leave tho. I just tolerate the the “stuff” they bring in — as I tolerated my ex’s grown sons eating all the food I’d bought.
I’ve been through many experiences like yours, but it was my 2 sisters that took everything my parents had. Adult step sons that came over for years and emptied my frig — several of them, and never volunteered to pay for anything.
What has helped me is my faith — the United Methodist Church. I don’t care for those non-denominational Churches — they all think to be a Christian is to be a Republican — and I could never do/be that. I’m a Democrat, like my father before me, and bigger well known churches are more tolerant of Democrats than are the Television Evangelist variety — which as far as I am conserned are no more that money grabbing religious biggots with nothing really in common with the words Jesus spoke.
A church will give you support of friends who will help you through tough times. They won’t keep your brother in law from eating your food, and they won’t pay your bills. But they can be there to give you references on job applications (some may even have a good paying job they’d rather give to a church member that they know than to a stranger). They are people who will do things with you other than drinkin’ buddies who just spend your money.
I hesitate to mention prayer — but they will also pray with/for you. I hesitate to mention it because I am not sure if it works or not, but sometimes it seems to, and it won’t do any harm. I don’t see a tree grow either but it does. I think prayer is like that perhaps.
Please don’t get hooked up with some new age nut who thinks that new age crap is of American Indian origin — it isn’t — most of that stuff is “made up” on the spot by white people trying to be Indian and they often get it wrong. There are well known websites dedicated to fighting fake American Indian spirituality and I am a member of the best known of those organizations. American Indian people go berzerk when they hear about some person bastardizing their traditions and/or faiths — there’s nothing they hate more about us low blood quantum people.
Many Indian people go to Church on Sunday and still go to traditional dances and dinners. The 2 are NOT mutually exclusive. It is the sense of “community” and “belonging” that both church and friends and family and “tribe” can provide as a support and that support from others might ease that PTSD. Unfortunately, cults can provide the same sense of “community”, and the television evangelist is more of a cult leader than a Christian. You don’t follow anything based on the personality of a man but rather on the value of what they do or are sincerely tryin’ to do.
Best of luck, and you’ll be in my prayers, and I do pray a lot — that’s how I know I am not sure how much it works. 🙂 It seems prayer works best when we pray for others and not ourselves, so maybe it’ll help.
Hang in there & take care —
Vance
Chris,
Linda is right. Especially with PTSD, you HAVE to do what feels right for you. Only you know what you can and can’t handle and it’s up to you to keep yourself feeling safe, balanced and at peace with your surroundings. I know exactly what you’re going through. I too have that as well as a whole resume of other “letter tags!”
Coping skills, if you don’t have many, e-mail me! I have a whole tool box full and I’d love to share them with you or anyone else who might need them. You know, they always tell writers to write what you know about. I’ve actually been published on this. I don’t know if that is something to be proud of or not, but I do have some good tips. Love & Light, Lynella.
Chris,
How are you doing?
Just wondering, I know you got my message, but as some days have gone by and Thanksgiving is about here, do you feel any better?
Sue J
thanks to all that replied i didnt think anyone would answer so ty all for your suport my wife thinks i should get better first but i think she prolonging it her children even want to move back to seee there dad n there sisters but my wife thinks i put them up to it and her family wants me to have dna test done on my daughters one is 3 the other is 18 im in a hole and cant get out everyone tells me to get over it but its easyer said than done i cant forget what her familys done 2 me shes i think shes useing it all in my head im tired of hearing that but her 2 agree with me on moving back i can only imagine how there dad feels were both n the same boat wow i wrote alot i appreciate your replys hope to hear from you soon ty chris
Hi Chris
Sounds like you have a pretty tough time…losing the home, your kids, and moving. That’s a lot for people to deal with that have no problems…I can’t imagine what it must be like for you.
I, too, have suffered PTSD earlier in my life. Thank the Creator that I was able to deal with my baggage and move on.
My first recommendation is to lock your door and keep out those that are not supportive of you. And if that doesn’t work, maybe moving back to NC and being on your own might be better….how can you deal with PTSD when those around you are not supportive? I wish you the best and hope you have a reasonable holiday….may the Creator give you peace and healing.
Aho, Becky
I apoligise I have been gone tooolong! Havent been by in a while been so busy but never to busy for my brothers and sisters who need support.
Chris, I am praying for you brother, take that time each day to relax and destress. My Father is a Vietnam Vet and has had problems for years, battles with himself and the bottle, he is doing better now because he just got out a rehab a month and a half ago and blessed to have another Native brother in there with him to pray every morning, and my Dad said that helped him alot. So if Morning prayer time might help you in silence doit up, break out that sage, sweetgrass and sema. I am always tryin to support my Dad, my Vets, my bros in the struggle. YOur not alone, and stay strong CREATOR has a plan!
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